Many of us feel stressed, anxious and detached. While we’ve been in survival mode for the past year and a half, so have our relationships and libidos.
A general lack of freedom and uncertainty messes with your mindset and adds to one of the biggest libido killers in existence: STRESS.
When our partners are too stressed for sex, we can be left feeling rejected.
As our men are pressured to always be in the mood, when stress affects their arousal they can be left feeling self conscious and anxious. It’s a vicious cycle and a topic that comes up daily in this business as performance anxiety remains at an all-time high and our customers come forth seeking enhancement supplements for a bit of extra mileage, excitement and peace of mind.
Performance anxiety aside, we find a general sense of disconnectedness between people in relationships.
If you feel like your sex life is a big mess and you have no idea where to start in trying to improve it, have a look at this excerpt from one of my all time favourite books, Supersex, by Tracey Cox.
I personally find a lot of value in it and I hope you do too!
Don’t fight change
Your taste in clothes varies in time, so do your sexual tastes and needs. Keep your partner up to date and they won’t feel threatened, or left behind.
Work on your self esteem
The happier you are with who you are, the more likely you are to speak up. Check that there’s no power imbalance in your relationship. The one who makes the sexual moves is usually the one who calls the shots.
Build intimacy outside the bedroom
Let your partner see the ‘real’ you, especially the silly, awkward bits. If you feel like doing Britney impressions, dancing around the living room, do it! The more often they see the not-so-glam-or-in-control-you, the more likely they’ll relax.
Remove any blame
If the problem is that on of wants sex more, don’t persecute the ’less sexy’ partner or accuse the other one of being a ‘sex maniac’. It’s no ones fault. It’s a problem the two of you have, so solve it as a couple together.
Both work out what you’re upset about
Have a good old think solo before coming together to talk about it. Try to think of solutions, not just the problem. If you’re upset because he’s not spending enough time on foreplay, spell out exactly what you’d like more of. Then talk it through.
Don’t avoid sex, keep on having it
Most sex problems turn into long-term dramas when the couple avoid the bedroom and refuse to admit there’s a problem.
Break your relationship routine
Start off small. Suggest you go to the movies instead of watching Netflix. Have sex in the spare room instead of your own. New experiences leave us feeling refreshed and pay dividends.
There are many demands on our time, I know. When last did you make your relationship your first priority? The time is now.
As always,
Be bold & stay playful!
Carmen, Founder: Play With Me