Tuesday, 10 September 2013
Growing up, my father gave me some sage advice. Sweetiepie, if you want to be successful in life, look at owning one of 3 things - a petrol station, a pawn shop or a bottle store. I was 10 and my father was honest 😂
I didn't take his advice. Instead I did what I thought we needed to do - find an actual career! I started out in project management, IT & Telecoms. It was the hay day of tech and we spent our days building app stores, mobile TV and never seen before digital services in the country.
These were very exciting times, during which I was sharing an office with an incredible co-worker and mentor. As girls do, we would talk about all manner of things in the middle of the night between quality assurance checks and rollouts.
She was in a conundrum. Single parent, not dating, and very much on the hunt for a toy. She was not prepared to park outside an adult store, climb out of her car and step foot inside of one. We spent many hours fantasizing about how convenient it would be to be able to order one online and have it delivered discreetly to your door. I loved those conversations, the plans and excitement! There were very few online sex toy stores in the country. This was a whole new way of doing business in the adult industry and it had yet to take off.
With much anticipation I called my mother one night with the big idea. She had just retired and was over the moon at the thought of dispatching the many orders we were going to get from her garage. "Carmies", she said, "How nice would it be if I crocheted complimentary nipple and willy warmers and put them in each box that was sent out?!"
She had big plans! Haha! And then I got stuck without a name. What would I call this website? It was a block for me. She phoned me the next day and announced that she had found the perfect name for the store... T&T!
"What does that stand for?" "Titties en Totties", she said! 😂😂😂😂
I reminded her that I was very much looking for a more premium stance and entry into the market and we left it at that.
Life was demanding, I was a new mother, I made a job shift to a very complex role and company and as a result all the plans for 'T&T' came to a grinding halt.
In that time I had also gotten divorced so life was pretty full and survival mode was the only mode I knew for the next few years.
It would take the death of my most favourite person a few years later (my mother, the T&T ambassador) to give me the kick up the ass that I needed.
It had been traumatic and I was tired of the life I had. Not ungrateful. Defeated. That's how I felt.
I was physically, emotionally and mentally worn out and I had no idea how to fix it.
8 months after her passing I launched Play With Me online...
I had transformed the spare room into my office and the cupboards were packed full of stock. I figured out how to build a website and spent hours on product descriptions. This was lots of fun and involved a lot of product research because some gadgets just aren't as straightforward as one might think, especially when you're as wet behind the ears as I was back then.
Creating an online presence is not an easy feat. Looking back I see that I did a lot of stuff backwards, I paid many school fees but it was an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling time. Figuring things out, learning new things, not just about the business, but about myself too.
I realised that toys are just a front, a carrot so to speak. They serve as a vehicle to start a far more meaningful conversation.
I realised that I had a big part to play in the demise of my own marriage, because I simply didn't believe that I deserved to feel pleasure.
I realised that there were lots of people who felt the same way I did and didn't have anybody to talk to about it.
I forgave myself for not knowing any better. It was quite a healing process, all of it. For once I finally felt like me and I liked me.
People often ask me what it was that made me decide to step into this industry. My answer? All of the above. Ironically, I never knew any of that back then, it kind of unfolds and makes more sense as you move forward.
Navigating the Play With Me ship is not always a walk in the park (I usually make it look far easier than it is - must be my superpower) but, knowing what I know now, would I do it all over again? 1000 times yes!
Founder: Play With Me