DIARY OF AN ADULT TOY STORE OWNER | THE STRAIGHT MAN VS THE PROSTATE

Tuesday, 8 March 2022

I find lots of things fun and interesting but I must say, nothing is as exciting to me as a straight man on the hunt for a prostate stimulator! More often than not you can sense the nervous energy straight out of the starting gates. 

I chuckle to myself because I know that by the time you leave my shop you'll be feeling just fine about it all, but at the same time I appreciate that you don’t know that yet. 

We like to believe that we've come a long way in anything relating to the back door being more acceptable. However, I'll have you know that if this is indeed your stance on the subject, you are very much an anomaly.  

Anything anus related, especially when you’re a straight man, is still quite a sensitive topic. The South African landscape is very conservative, even in the now year of 2024 because surely if you’re straight and exploring your anus you must, in fact, be gay? I am here to assure you that this is not the case. 

I am also here to remind all girlfriends, wives and partners out there that it’s still not a good idea to go home and stick your finger in your mans bum without prior communication. Please. 

A great example of extreme prostate anxiety goes something like this... 

Jasper arrives at the top of my stairs sweating and not because of the climb. Sheer nerves, like I'd never experienced before. In that very moment I know what’s coming next.  

We need to find a prostate toy, stat!  

“I'm so sorry I'm making you uncomfortable” he keeps saying. My response is easy, “Let's get one thing straight. Me? I don't get uncomfortable”. 

In fact, I am most passionate about helping people explore their prostates. A whole pleasure button just for you? It so deserves to be pressed! I mean, why else does it exist? If I had one I’d have dived into it a long time ago! But, I don’t have one and this isn’t about me so back to Jasper. 

My relaxed response seemed to do the trick and Jasper calms right down and we spend a good half an hour leaving no stone unturned as we cover all of his options. 

Happy with the information and notably relieved by the level of understanding (and my very evident love of all things prostate) he leaves with his bag of boy toys looking far taller and more in charge than we he had first arrived.  

I’ll have you know that his next visit to the store had him parking right in front (as opposed to halfway across the shopping complex) and walking up the stairs like he owned the place! I’d call this a tremendous success! 

This is genuinely next level job satisfaction. I don't have a boss to remind me of the sheer importance of my role in society, the straight man and his prostate do - so thanks for that! 

Founder: Play With Me