The other night, I was invited to do a pop-up at an event. A curated collection of tools designed for pleasure, connection, and self-exploration.
But before the night could even warm up, I was asked to pack away my display dildos.
Not because they were causing harm.
Not because anyone complained.
But because they made other people at the same venue (attending a different function) uncomfortable.
My instinct was to argue the case (I mean, we’re all grown-ups here) but the request was serious. Two minutes into battle, the businesswoman in me took the reins. I agreed… and packed away the big, scary pink double dong (after negotiating that we keep most of the rest out 😉)
This came just a week after another incident where a woman at a nightclub screamed and bolted from my display table after a toy accidentally touched her hand. Meanwhile, some saucy porn was playing on the screen above her head.
In all my years in this industry, I’ve never traumatised anyone with a sex toy. Still, I chased her down to clear the air - mostly to make her (and myself) feel better. It ended well. But it left me with the ever lingering truth: We still have a very, very long way to go when it comes to open conversations about sex and pleasure.
Exploring your sexuality is not deviance. It’s not vulgar. It’s deeply human, its about connection, curiosity and the joy of feeling good in your own skin. It's about owning your desires, and it's not something to fear or hide.
But in a society where even mentioning sex can spark discomfort, showcasing a flogger or a strap-on at a public event still feels like a radical act.
I hereby announce that I will continue to make reclaiming this space my life's work.
I’m going to keep popping up, in clubs, at events, at your yoga studio (kidding! 😉) and anywhere else I can to celebrate those who dare to explore their desires safely, consensually, and joyfully.
To you, reading this: I see you. I celebrate you. And I congratulate you for doing the same.
As always, be bold & stay playful!
Carmen, Play With Me Founder