I'm a huge Marie Kondo fan. Admittedly, I have yet to Marie Kondo my house, because I started in a place that brings me an endless amount of joy instead - my toybox! Seems fair, doesn’t it?
So if you’re feeling a little less enthusiastic in the sex department lately, read on! Sometimes small changes can contribute greatly to bringing your spark back.
First up on the agenda! If you’re a collector, like I am, then we need to start here.
Where are they?
When it comes to our instruments of pleasure, the majority of us have them stashed all over the place. Some in the nightstand for easy access and if you have kids, like I do, then no doubt the big bad boys are in a nondescript box at the very back of the highest cupboard you can find. It’s time for you to go on a treasure hunt. Grab one, grab all! Every toy, every enhancer, every drop of lube….
Ready? Let’s begin!
Some of our toys are sentimental. I remember hanging onto my bunny vibe for a lot longer than necessary because it was the first vibe I’d ever bought. This in itself was a big psychological deal for me because I was quite attached to it. As sweet and sentimental as I can be (read obsessed with my first ever bunny) realistically, unless you’re going to box frame it and hang it up on the dining room wall, it’s time to say goodbye.
The runner ups
You know the toys you keep, the first one of their kind, that might still serve as a runner up for IN CASE something happens to it’s successor? In personal experience, the runner ups don’t ever live up to my expectations and therefore don’t actually perform in the way I need them to anymore. If I ever do find myself in the situation where something has happened to the replacement model, I generally improvise with something else, but don’t ever go back. Goodbye to the runner ups, and thank you for your service!
Is it toxic?
We just can’t stress the importance of body safe products enough. Generally speaking, you’re going to want to make sure that your toys are phthalate free and nonporous. If you aren’t quite sure, this handy article breaks it down quite nicely. Poorly made or hard to sterilise toys could lead to injury or illness and put a hamper on your fun.
It’s broken/needs batteries
If it’s broke, it’s broke. Unless your toy is still under warranty, let it go. Chance are if you’ve had a toy lying around that needs batteries for longer than 6 months or so, ask yourself what you’ve been substituting it with during this time? If you’re still determined to keep it, replace the batteries and give it a new lease on life. After all, your toys were meant to have fun too!
I don’t know what it is….
Laugh now, and laugh loud! As strange as this sounds, chances are we’ve all been on a toy shopping spree at one point or another and bought something completely off the wall. The instruction manual is long gone and we are faced with an object that we either have no idea how to use or even better still, don’t know what the hell it is. I hear you, no need to explain yourself… Let. It. Go.
The lube review
As our bodies change over time, so should your lube.
What got you off and worked before might not be as effective today. The world of lube is a fascinating one and there are an incredible range of products available that can make your sexual endeavours that much more satisfying, so invest wisely here. A little bit of a good lube goes a long way in drastically increasing your overall levels of sexual satisfaction. Your body changes over time, and so does petunia, and therefore so should your lube.
You bought it WHEN? Yes, yes I know, time marches on! Uuuum, so does lube. While lubricants are almost always silicone or water-based, other than made with oil, you don’t need to worry too much about spoilage. It is, however, theoretically possible for the product to go bad, so always try to stick to a bottle size that you can finish off within a year to be on the safe side.
An ongoing dilemma. If you’re stashing your toys in those hard to reach places, sometimes they’ll stay in those hard to reach places because you’ve made it too hard to get your hands on them in a hurry!
There are some amazing toy storage solutions that you could look into instead. My absolute favourite toybox is the JOYBOXX. It has a maximum security combo lock for extra piece of mind so no little fingers are getting in there! It is also well ventilated and keeps your precious collection dust free. A brilliant and super convenient touch is the charging hole at the back, so you can charge up your toys while they stay out of sight.
I can’t store my wand in it, it’s not humongous, but what I like about the size is that I can store it in my drawer or nightstand for quick and easy access. The other great advantage is how perfect it is for travel. Dropping your favourite toy collection, as is, into your luggage has never been easier!
It’s still too small…
I used to battle with this one, trying to squeeze myself into something that I hoped would fit one day seemed like a great way to motivate me to shed those last few kilos. Except it left me feeling pretty kak about myself instead, which completely defeats the point. Let. It. Go.
How does it make you feel?
It’s a sexy number. Yes, it might have been washed 100 times and it’s a little stretched, but I like the style. This is the justification: It suits me and my body and I shall continue wearing it. The reality is, it doesn’t make me feel like it did when I first got it…
If it doesn’t make you feel like the goddess that you are. Let. It. Go.
Probably a little less straightforward, but that said, if there is anything that you need to resolve to make sure you are leading the best possible sexual existence, be it with yourself, or with your partner, take a look at it now.
You deserve no less than true intimacy in your relationships.